


Parity

by carolinecrane



Series: Retrograde [7]
Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-22
Updated: 2004-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6306019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a balancing act.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parity

It's not a competition, but if it were, Tyler would be congratulating himself on winning this round. He knows Tim's nervous about people at work finding out about them. They've never talked about it, but he's not an idiot, and he's known Tim long enough to figure out that he's big on discretion. Tyler's mostly okay with that, because he knows it's not _him_ so much as the fact that Tim doesn't like people to know any more than they need to. Tim's probably the most private person Tyler's ever met, and he's trying hard not to let that bother him.

He still doesn't know much about Tim's past beyond the fact that he grew up in Syracuse, but there are little details that slip out when Tim's relaxed -- relaxed for him, anyway -- that add up to a sort of incomplete picture of Tim's life before Miami. He knows Tim was big on science even as a kid, that he likes to read and that he saves all his old forensics journals. He knows Tim grew up in his dad's restaurants, that he likes to cook but he doesn't like people to make a big deal about it. So Tyler pretends to be less impressed than he is whenever Tim comes up with some new culinary masterpiece, but he lets slip just enough to let Tim know that he appreciates it.

It's a balancing act, but he's a good actor, so he doesn't really mind. He's good at reading people, too, and he can tell when Tim's thinking too hard about what they're doing. When they're alone together it's not so bad, but lately when they run into each other at work Tyler can see the panic starting to set in. He picked up right away on the weird vibe when Tim and Calleigh walked into the A/V lab, and for a few seconds he thought for sure Tim was going to take him up on the offer to cool things off a little.

He's still not sure why he offered. He's always been the type to let someone know when he really likes them, but with Tim that seems...dangerous. Like telling him the truth would scare him off for good, and that's the last thing Tyler wants. He'd rather play Tim's frustrating game of pretending they're not really that involved than tell Tim what he wants and risk losing everything. And he's not really proud of that, but him and pride have never had a very close relationship, so he doesn't really mind. Tim's worth it, not just because of the sex, although Tyler doesn't have any complaints about that anymore. He likes just spending time with Tim, listening to him talk about whatever case he's working on or just watching one of those medical shows on The Learning Channel.

He likes that Tim puts up with _Inside the Actors' Studio_ even though he usually doesn't know who any of the actors are. He likes that Tim spends the night, that he's got a toothbrush sitting on Tyler's bathroom counter and spare clothes in Tyler's closet. And maybe that's another thing that freaks Tim out when he stops to think about it, so Tyler tries not to make a big deal out of the fact that they're spending enough time together to share closet space. It was hard not to react the first time Tim left clothes at his place, but somehow he managed it. When he found them still on his floor the next day he just tossed them in the laundry with his own, and after that Tim never had to go home to change before he went to work.

It's practical, and Tyler's pretty sure that's the only reason Tim hasn't freaked out about it. He's starting to think giving Tim a key would be practical too, but he's pretty sure that wouldn't go over as well as an extra toothbrush on his bathroom counter. So he doesn't push, and when Tim shows up after their shift Tyler lets him in without mentioning how much easier it would be if he didn't have to knock. Instead he closes the door and catches Tim's hand, pulling him close for the kiss he's been thinking about all day. And it hasn't really been that long, but they spent most of last night making out on his couch and Tyler hasn't stopped thinking about it since.

Tim's an intense guy, and he's just as intense when he kisses as he is when he's on a case. Like he can't do _anything_ without focusing all his attention on it. It's the biggest turn-on Tyler can think of, especially when all that attention is focused on him.

"Sorry about that," Tyler says when he pulls away, touching the mark he left on Tim's neck the night before. And he doesn't really want to draw Tim's attention to anything that might make him rethink what they're doing, but he doesn't want Tim to think he doesn't get it. Because he does -- he doesn't know the reasons why, but he gets that Tim needs to think he's keeping a low profile.

Tim clears his throat and takes a step backwards, and for a second Tyler's sure he just ruined everything. He braces himself for the 'it's been fun, but...' speech, his mind already racing with a dozen possible arguments for why they shouldn't call it off just because of one mistake.

"Yeah, Calleigh noticed," Tim says, and that's not what Tyler was expecting, so it takes him a few seconds to respond.

"Yeah?" is all he comes up with, and he'd be embarrassed if Tim wasn't already talking again like it's not the dumbest thing he could have said.

"Yeah. I think she figured it out awhile ago."

He swallows his shock that Tim's being so cool about this, because he'd always assumed the second anybody suspected anything it was over. Not that he thinks about it a lot, but when he does he doesn't picture Tim being so...relaxed. "So was that...is that why she showed up with you today?"

Tim nods and lets out a heavy sigh, and that's a little more like what Tyler was expecting. He looks resigned, but not as freaked out as he could be. "She won't say anything. Delko might, but Calleigh's cool."

This is the closest they've ever come to talking about their relationship, and Tyler knows if he's not careful he could say the wrong thing and end things right now. And he doesn't really mind not talking about this stuff, because it hasn't really been that long and he likes the way things are going. He likes just hanging out, knowing that Tim's not seeing anybody else without having to ask, because even if he doesn't think of Tyler as his boyfriend he doesn't have the time for other guys. He likes that things are kind of casual between them, that Tim feels like he can relax around Tyler.

He doesn't want to screw that up, but he's been out for a long time and he's not going to play this game forever, not even for Tim. "You know we're not doing anything wrong."

There's a little pause before Tim nods, just enough to let Tyler know that he doesn't really believe it. "I know. But that doesn't mean it's anybody's business."

And he knows he could push it, that he could argue that maybe it is somebody else's business, because they've both got people who care about them, and those people have a right to know that they're happy. He hasn't seen much of his own friends since he started sleeping with Tim, but he's talked to his parents and his sister, and he's mentioned Tim to all of them. Tim hardly ever mentions his family, though, so maybe they don't talk about these things. Maybe his parents don't want to know what he's doing or who he's doing it with; maybe that's the reason he left New York and never looked back.

The truth is that for all the time they've spent together, Tyler hardly knows anything about Tim, and for the first time he finds himself wondering if he's going to get the chance. But he's always been a positive guy, and Tim showed up tonight when he could have pleaded exhaustion and gone home alone, so that's something. It's more than something -- it's practically a commitment from Tim. If somebody knows about them and Tim hasn't called it off yet...it makes Tyler hope for more than he should, so he pushes the thought as far back in his head as it will go and changes the subject.

"You hungry? I can order something."

He watches Tim relax, and that alone makes it worth not pushing anything. "I thought you wanted to learn how to make chili."

"What, tonight?" Tyler asks, forcing back a smile as he lets Tim lead him into the kitchen. "Do I have the stuff to make chili?"

"Yeah." Tim gives him the look that he usually reserves for when Delko says something only Delko thinks is funny, but Tyler doesn't mind, because Tim's still here, and that's what matters.


End file.
